It started with jumping on the trampoline.One kid stepped on the other out of anger. The hurt one stood outside for ten minutes and cried and called, "Momma" in the most pitiful voice. I was fed up to say the least. And I may have blew my top a little bit, too. So what did I do? Did I comfort the one that was hurt? Did I use this as a teaching moment to talk about caring for your siblings? Did I even properly disciple the one who did the stomping? Nope. I threw my hands up and scolded the kids by saying, "Why can't you just play nice together?". Then I turned on a movie for everyone, it got quiet in the house, and I went back to the dishes.
It dawned on me while I was doing those dishes that I had conditioned my kids. I had conditioned them to just come inside and watch tv instead of dealing with the problem or actually learning to play together the right way. Do I actually think that they plan out hurting each other just so they can watch a movie? No. At least, I really hope not. But in the long run, have they learned how to solve their own problems and treat each other kindly? No.
I know it doesn't seem totally horrible but I realized that the reason my kids can't play well together is because I'm not teaching them to. Like I really needed something else to work on at home. But this one is kind of important. It has lasting, life long, repercussions. I also realized that while I enjoy media in our home (tv, tablets, phones, leapsters, and *gasp* yes, xbox) they also amplify already bad habits. Right now we are using summer to change our bad habits.
So by God's grace, I will once again try to be intentional in my parenting, not just reactive.
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