God is my strength

As I sit down to write this I'm both exhausted and overwhelmed. I have been struggling this week. Thanks to a nursing baby who doesn't sleep through the night, a potty training two year old who refuses to poop in the potty, and three homeschool students who want mom's undivided attention, my patience is thin and my attitude crummy. Right now I'm clinging to the passage in 1 Cor. 7:24 that talks about living as God has called you. God has called me to be a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. Even though it is hard.

Today my house looks like it threw up. We made more messes then we cleaned up. I have laundry that will need to be rewashed if it sits in piles on the floor any longer. Our homeschool year so far has been sloppy.  I know veteran homeschool moms tell us newbies that it takes time to establish a routine but sometimes that advice isn't very helpful on a bad day. But God has called me to teach my children just as much as he has called me to have them. He is faithful to provide me with adequate grace for each new day. I was recently challenged during a Bible study to view this phase of my life with the thought that right now, God is calling me to obedience, not efficiency. Again that isn't very helpful when you are so far behind on dishes that you have nothing to cook with and if you did, you have nothing to eat it on. Like I said, it has been one of those weeks. But when I realized God was searching my heart (and wanted to help me get rid of that crummy attitude) and not judging me on the cleanliness of my home, it freed me. It freed me to sit and spend time with my children, to pull aside the toddler that has behaved so bad lately and snuggle with her, to take the time to train older children, and to do something fun instead of trying so hard to finish our 'to do' list by the end of the day. By doing that I relieved some of the stress and uptightness I had placed on our home. And when I do that it gives me a little bit of fresh air and just enough renewal to push on another day. God has called me to this and he wishes for me to praise Him even when times are tough. I just have to trust Him that when I "seek ye first the kingdom of God" and allow Him to work in me as an example to my children, He will help me care for the little things like laundry and dishes.